Sunday, January 16, 2005
Danger! High Voltage!
Needless to say, I was physically impaired, but it took years to realize the true impact of the emotional damage that was ongoing throughout this time period as the result of living a life morbidly obese; injury that was affecting not only me personally, but also those persons who were closest to me: my family, my friends and my co-workers. The people who loved me! I was oblivious to the anger that was spewing forth from me in every venue possible. My words could cut like a knife, my fixed stare could pierce as a sharp dagger and my body language said, “Leave this one alone! Danger! High Voltage!” It wasn’t until my lovely and gracious wife kindly alerted me to my explosive responses to normal, everyday occurrences; events that were seemingly insignificant by any reasonable standards. Her gentle words caused me to muse about the progression of my hotheadedness. I got down on my knees and begged God for an answer. For weeks I pleaded over and over again, “God, please help me to change!” I didn’t want to be a burden to my wife, family, or friends; I wanted to be a blessing. Like so many others I mistakenly viewed God as though He were a vending machine. “Lord,” I cried out, “Don’t you see that I have dropped my coins (church attendance, tithes, mission support and special offerings) in the slot!” “Where is my help?” I asked Him. No morsel of peace fell from the spirals of grace into the bin of my life; at least not in the manner that I had envisioned.
